10 Pregnancy Symptoms You May Not Expect

While you was trying to conceive you probably had this vision of the 'pregnant you' basically normal you but with a perfectly compact round little bump on front. You hear things about the pregnancy glow (sweat from being sick) and your hair getting thicker (all your hair though not just on your head) So I thought I would share some of the not so openly discussed pregnancy symptoms that I am currently enjoying ... YOU ARE WELCOME!

1. Nose Problems - Yeah you heard me right. Haven't had a nose bleed before? That is likely to change. Along with everything else that is expanding right now the blood vessels in your nose get bigger, your increased blood supply means these will rupture much easier than usual - time to keep a tissue up your sleeve. You may also notice you have a sense of smell that could rival a blood hound, you will start being able to smell someone with a Big Mac from two towns over!
2. Lady Gardening - You sort of know it is coming but it sneaks up on you and one day you will be laying in the bath in shock that you can no longer see your vagina. (I miss you noon) This is obviously a personal grooming disaster which could quite possibly leave you with either a 70s style full bush or hunched over a mirror in a very undignified state (maybe double check you locked that door)
3. Lightening Crotch - Never heard of it? Wait until week 23 you are about to be introduced. If you are able to stay composed and not jump (or yelp) like a crazy person when your baby kicks you in the vagina then you are a better woman than I! This doesn't mean that labour is on the way it could just be the baby repositioning so nothing to worry about, just hope it doesn't happen on a full bladder.
4. Clown Shoes - You expect you will get a little larger during pregnancy however you may not have realised that your feet might actually go up a size. (usually I love an excuse to buy new shoes) Your body starts retaining fluids, and those gather in your feet - say goodbye to those ankles for a while.
5. Acne My Old Friend - As if you wasn't feeling self conscious enough what with the clown feet and bleeding noses, acne is back to put a smile on your face. (They said I'd be glowing) All the extra hormones your body is currently playing host to are likely to stimulate those sebaceous glands enough to make mount vesuvius erupt. You will have to be careful what you use to treat it as you aren't able to use the usual acne products - I'm afraid a deep cleansing clay mask may become your new BFF.
6. Invest In Scratch Mitts - No not for the baby, for you! As your skin starts to stretch you will notice it becoming unbearably itchy. Especially over the belly and boobies region. The best thing you can do is smother yourself in lotions and oils, on the plus side being so moisturised can only help with the impending stretch marks ... right?
7. Wet Pillow Problems - Yes it's as gross as it sounds, pregnancy can sometimes actually make you drool! Excessive salivation, as horrible as it is, is actually pretty common during pregnancy, sometimes you might even feel like you need to spit!
8. Baby Brain - This is not an urban myth, I can assure you baby brain is actually a real life thing! If you wasn't a forgetful Florence before you are about to take that on as your new name, maybe put your keys on a chain round your neck, although you may still lose them. You will probably become overly emotional, maybe even cry over a One Direction song while driving to Asda (yeah that happened)
9. Your Body Your Enemy - Come the end of the second trimester you may start to think your body is turning against you. Painful sciatica, headaches, heartburn ... hemorrhoids! I recommend investing in lots of pillows and something incriminating that you can bribe your partner with to ensure nightly back rubs!
10. Gas Station - As you have a much higher level of progesterone (a hormone which relaxes your muscle tissue) you will probably find yourself pumping like a trumpet, or burping like Homer Simpson. This can be far from appropriate, especially during that super important meeting - oops! But also trapped wind in your back is one of the more painful pregnancy symptoms, you may even mistake it for the start of labour! 

I hope this post gave you some laughs, as much as it can be uncomfortable at times I wouldn't have it any other way - 107 days until due date, and counting!